In any case, I'm working to make myself feel better. So today I am making a list of really beautiful men that we all can admire together. They are in no particular order, except for the last one.
First up is every late 80's/early 90's girls' old-man crush.
David Bowie of Jim Henson's 1986 Labyrinth.
Was he a pedophile with a dominance-complex? Without a doubt.
Did he have the most fabulous feathered mullet to ever suffocate a human's face? Absolutely.
So what about him made young girls swoon and dream of him long into their 30's?
Let me show you.
That, ladies and gents, is why.
The infamous tights. Never has the male anatomy been so positively intriguing. I'm sure there is many-a nerd that got more action than they would've had Bowie not ignited so much curiosity in the pure minds of private-schooled prudes. You are welcome, 90's nerds.
Next is this kid.
I can't for the life of me remember his name or find him on the interwebs, and the facebook friend I learned of him from has since vanished from existence. So... that's his face. He is a European soccer player. And he's adorable.
....
NUMBER 2 EVERYBODY!!!
And now let us have another throw back
That moustache. What more must I say?
Captain James Hook of Steven Spielberg's 1991 family classic, Hook. If you haven't seen Hook, you never had a childhood. Go watch Hook so you can say you have a soul. Once you type the word hook and say hook and look at the word hook enough times, it really looks like the wrong word.
Mmmmm..... Hooooooooooook....
Looky-looky I got Hooky!!!
This fine piece of man is none other than Killian Jones of ABC's Once Upon a Time. Playing Captain James Hook. Look at that burly pirate chest. Need I say more?
Aaaaaaaaaaaand since it appears that I'm already on a Neverland role.....
Humna-humna-humna....
The one and only, Peter Pan. Feast your eyes ladies.
Most of you may not recognize this work of genetic art.
Please, allow me to refresh your memories.
Jeremy Sumpter of P.J.Hogan's Peter Pan (2003)
Another movie you must see. The score is to die for.
I fully admit to thanking God every day that he did grow up. Into a fine, fiiiiiiiiine mancake.
As I have been procrastinating on finishing this blog for several days now, and I seem to be having a hard time of thinking up more of my favorite heart throbs, I suppose I will wrap it up here, but after one last entry... My ultimate celeb crush. And probably favorite singer of all time.
Bam.
Freddie Mercury of Queen.
I don't know what it is. I really don't. He was crazy and wore leotards. His teeth are hideous. I'm very picky about good teeth. But I LOVE his teeth. I hate hairy chests. But I would cry if he had shaved his. I really don't like feet, and he has really wierd feet. I like his feet.
I really don't know. But... look at that jaw. ajlwefhyfwhqjchjrqfr;hfoq. I must adore it. And his voice... what I'd give to have him serenade me. And those eyes... I just died.
Did you know he loved cats??! Well now you do.
Yes, I know... He was gay.
And now he's dead.
But I still love him.
This is what started it all. I still don't know why, but after I saw this music video, I fell in love. Watch and see if he turns you too.
I'd become a man for you Freddie, anytime.
Congrats Freddie
You win man of the year
This was fun. I may do this again. Once i can find more men to adore.
I feel better about stupid attractive boys already.
Thank you internet world, thank you.
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