To be honest I don't really know where to start, but I feel an explanation is in order. So I suppose I can start there.
As you (hopefully) saw the name of this blog is "Thoughts of an Albatross". And this may lead people to think I am degrading or bringing myself down in some way seeing as an albatross is old-fashioned slang for a burden or dead-weight, which stemmed from Samuel Taylor Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. And I'll be honest, I could be considered a burden to some and I have been, amongst other less-attractive nouns and adjectives. So in some respect I am exactly what you more than likely presumed.
But it actually means a bit, well ok, a LOT more than that to me.
The albatross is my favorite animal. And I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked why, of all the creatures on Earth, the awkward-looking lesser-known seabird is my favorite animal. I actually didn't know why myself for a long time, but I think I have finally began to figure out what it is that makes them so appealing to me.
Ok so that freaking adorable face is definitely a factor.
I didn't even know what an albatross was until about 4 or 5 years ago. I was standing up on the balcony that overlooks our living room talking to my Mother, while I sort of subconsciously starting slowly waving my arms as if I was flying. My Mom took notice and exclaimed "Oh look, she's an albatross! Look at her loooong wingspan!" And that's when we first met.
I have since found many reasons to love and relate to my fellow seabird.
On a shallow level, they are sea birds. I have always loved the sea. A meaning of my name is actually goddess or protector from the sea. I'm actually slightly terrified of the sea and I tend to be nervous around deep water, but that's more due to sharks and a fear of drowning than anything else. So naturally, I have a passion for nearly any animal water-related (octopus is in my top 5 favorite animals, dolphin makes top 10).
And now comes the fun, deep, meaningful, potentially rant-filled explanation.
The albatross is not really what the majority would consider a beautiful or attractive bird. It is basically a giant seagull, and most people I know HATE seagulls. On top of that they have fairly bland and monotone coloration, a long oddly shaped beak, and a caveman brow. Most people think they are just plain ugly.
I don't know what it is that makes them so endearing, but I think they are just one of the cutest birds in existence. I think the caveman brow makes them appear to have more expression in their eyes so they are easier to anthropomorphise.
Also, they remind me very much of the ugly duckling, which was me growing up. I was a very awkward looking child from about 2nd grade to my freshman year. My siblings now affectionately know me as "the boy who lived". But that's a whole different topic to cover some other time.
Reason 2: Their wingspan.
The albatross has the longest wingspan of any living bird species, ranging 8'-11.5'. That's fuggin' huge. And something to be proud of.
And here is how I relate it to myself. I am not particularly good at most things. I can't cook, I fail at every sport (except badminton. I'll kick your ass any day), I can't dance to save my life, I'm not the best singer/writer/drawer/animal expert, although those are all things I do fairly well. I'm not the most beautiful or most brilliant. I don't really embody any physical talent or quality that our society holds on a pedestal. But you know what? I don't give a damn. Because I am still the best at something. There is something that I contribute to an extent that noone else can, whether I know exactly what that is yet or not (also a whole different can of worms that I may touch on at some point in the future). The albatross is not the most beautiful or colorful, it does not sing the best, and their dancing skills look very similar to my own (as you will see shortly). They are not the longest lived or most sought after, they are not the best fishers or divers or parents. But you know what they are the best at?! Having a fuggin' long wingspan!!! They have something that no other bird can brag about. You go albatross!
And now, I present you with my final reason: Love.
Yes love, the beginning and end to everything, the meaning and purpose of life, the thing we all spend our lives hoping to gain and unwilling to ever let go of. Love.
I have many thoughts on love, and I believe an unfair amount of experience with it considering my age. And there are a few things that the albatross brings to the love-thought table that I very much agree with and support, perhaps more for my own sanity and hope than anything else, but all the same. It makes me happy with life.
The albatross partakes in a ridiculous courting dance that is so awkward and adorable that I demand every one of my boyfriends to perform one for me upon becoming serious. If you want rights to make out with this face, then you best believe that I expect you to court me, the right way. And this is what evolution says is the right way. So start practicing.
See? They are so terribly awkward and uncoordinated and without grace and they STILL get loved. And their awkwardness is part of their charm. They make you giggle. And it makes you love them. Boys, take note. You may not be attractive or have dance skills or have any singing capabilities, but if you prove you are still willing to try and woo a girl even with these terrible qualities, I will give you a fighting chance. But it's best to go with whatever wonderful wooing qualities you have first. You know, like, flaunting how your wingspan is the longest of all the longest-winged albatross'.
Once you show that you are willing to look completely ridiculous on command if that's what it takes to win my heart, then I will give you the glory of makey-outey privileges. And I expect you to make this face.
And then calm yourself enough to make a proper seduction face.
Mmmm. Sexy albatross face.
Not only do they go to great lengths of embarrassment for those they love, but there is one other major factor that has officially saved their spot as my favorite animal ever.
They mate for life!!! Get that! They believe in TRUE LOVE!!! HA!!!!! Take that non-believers!!! Mother nature herself says it is natural and possible!!!
Ok, so I haven't actually met people who don't believe in love. And I generally don't talk to people about their stance on true love. And I'm not saying I'm gung-ho about soul mates or love at first sight. I'm not actually sure if I believe in a lot of that. But there are other issues I have faced in my day, particularly recently, that make this a strong reason for me to adore the albatross. Again, another can of worms that I need-not go into now. But I have met plenty of people who are against the traditional family dynamic (Disclaimer. I'm not attacking the gay-family dynamic. Don't turn it into that), who believe it isn't right to stay with one person your entire life, that polygamy is natural amongst the animal kingdom and therefore is a legitimate excuse for humans, and that you are not capable of love until you are of a certain age with certain dating experience. All of these make me angry. And the albatross is against all of these. So the albatross and I are friends.
The entire situation in our society with love makes me fairly upset. We live in a culture where divorce is 2nd nature. When a relationship is struggling, the go-to answer is to end it instead of doing everything in your power to fix it. This is not what I grew up on. People say I am idealistic in my views of marriage and relationships, but I grew up on the ideal. It exists. And it works.
Rant over. Ok. The fact of the matter is I am a relationship-orientated person in every way. I understand relationships, I love them, and I know how to make them work. The albatross is a natural embodiment of hard-working relationships and how beautiful they can be. They are what I hope for for myself and those around me. They are not perfect or extra-special, but they are happy and they are what they are meant to be.
Look how happy and cute they are! Awwww. True, awkward love at its best.
So that is my explanation for my love of the albatross, why I chose to use it to describe myself, and now you know where my blog title comes from.
Do you have any wierd story or deep meaning behind your favorite animal?
My first ever blog post is complete. I feel incredibly successful. Yay for life! Huzzah for the albatross!
~Mer
P.S. I realize these qualities and behaviors do not apply to all albatross species. It's a blog. You'll be ok.
